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Your Values Dictate Your Results. Guaranteed.

About twelve years ago we stumbled upon a certain understanding of life that really cleared up things for us.

This was during a time that we were reading every single real estate, sales, motivational and "self-help" book that we could get our hands on.

We were both pretty frustrated with the idea of working for someone else for the rest of our lives.  Things like dental benefits and "matching RRSP contributions" just didn't excite us - AT ALL.

So we began reading every single money making and motivational book under the sun.  We still have a ton of them lying around.  One of us even "invested" $5,000 in a set of tapes (yes, not CDs or MP3s but old-fashioned cassette tapes) from a big real estate guru so that we could learn the art of buying property with "no-money down".

And we've both spent tens of thousands on various boot camps and seminars.

Although some of the material we were studying was a waste of time the process wasn't.

The frustration that we were was feeling propelled both of us to take action.  We actually now like it when we get extremely frustrated because we realize it's a leading indicator for making some new and big changes in our lives.

Our goal now is to harness frustration, not prevent it.

One book that we stumbled into, that we can't find any longer or we'd share it with you, outlined a very simple but profound way to look at your life.

The author explained that to deal with anyone ... your spouse, you kids, your friends, your boss, anyone ... all you have to do is figure out what their values are and then speak to them with those values in mind.

The key is to figure out the priority of their values so that you can speak to them in their language.

For example, if your spouse's values fall into this order:

1. Family
2. Health & Exercise
3. Friends
4. Stress Free Relaxation (TV, Social Media)
5. Career & Wealth (Making Money)
6. Leisure Time
7. Self Development

And your values are in this order:

1. Career & Wealth Creation (Making Money)
2. Family
3. Self Development
4. Friends
5. Health & Exercise
6. Leisure Time
7. Stress Free Relaxation (TV, Social Media)

Then you're likely always talking about your career, investing and making money and your spouse is always talking about taking care of the kids, the house and the family.

In order to really understand and relate to your spouse you'll have to focus on their values, not yours.

In the book the author was an extremely successful Chiropractor who traveled around the world giving lectures.

This often upset his spouse because he was constantly away from the family  -  which was her top priority on the value list.  So he would always break the news about his next business trip by including some sort of family trip immediately afterwards so that he was taking care of her values as well as his own.

And he would always highlight how that, although not initially obvious, his trip had very specific benefits for the family and weren't just about progressing his career.

She would always respond to this because he was talking to her with her values in mind.

To really relate to people you need to talk to understand what they value and what they don't.

But this wasn't the biggest eye opener for us, it was this next concept...

The author explained that there was no such thing as time management.  There was only "priority or value management".

If your values are in this order...

1. Family
2. Friends
3. Health & Exercise
4. Career & Wealth Creation (Making Money)
5. Self Development
6. Leisure Time
7. Stress Free Relaxation (TV, Social Media)

Then you may *think* that you're focused on "building your own business" or "investing in real estate" or "advancing your career" but we'll let you in on a little secret.

It will take you a very long time to accomplish your "Career & Wealth Creation" goals.

Because when there's an opportunity to advance your Career and/or Wealth Creation you'll very often be interrupted by something higher on your value list.

A family event interrupts your agenda or, a long lost friend calls and wants to grab a drink or the gym has a new Pilates class ... something higher on your value list will always take priority.

Because all of those things are higher on your value list you'll throw your day timer out the window and juggle your schedule to accommodate the values that are more important to you.

So if you find yourself questioning why "time management" doesn't work and questioning why you're not getting the results you want in a specific area of your life it's likely because that particular area is too low on your priority list.

Other things are more important to you ... end of story.

The best online calendar or iPhone App won't help you achieve more.  Only moving that area of your life higher up your priority list will.

It may take a major life event to do it.

Maybe a boss upsets you long enough and you get so frustrated that "Career & Wealth Creation" jump to the top of your value list.  You're going to focus on building your own business like never before.

And when that happens, all of sudden you find all sorts of time to focus on this area of your life.

And it may not be "Career & Wealth Creation" that moves up your list.  Maybe you've been focusing on that particular area too much and a family event happens that really makes you rethink your priorities ... and then "Family" moves up the value ladder.

Recently we've been working with a couple of real estate investors that can't understand why they're not achieving as much as many of the other investors we work with.

Upon discussing their lives with them it's obvious that although real estate investing is high on their value list ... leisure time and relaxation are actually a notch or two higher.

So every time there's an investing activity that needs to be done they drag their feet a little, move a bit more slowly than they need to, and as a result their results suffer.

If you can't figure out why you're not achieving as much as you want to be.

Or if you're struggling with time management.

Examine your values.  What are your priorities?

Career & Wealth Creation may be very high on your list.  Maybe #2 even.

But perhaps #1 on your list is Stress Free Relaxation.

Guess which one will get more attention and more time?

Until next time ... Your Life.  Your Terms!

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0 comments on “Your Values Dictate Your Results. Guaranteed.”

  1. Hi Tom,

    This was a great post. Thank you for sharing this information.

    This was a real eye opener for me as well. Going through the process of writing out my values is something that I am going to do.

    Thanks again for this super post!

    Best Regards,
    Neil.

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