(img: celestine chua)
We’re not the type to judge people.
We truly believe everyone is on their own path.
We don’t know all the details of a person’s experiences, history or life context. And all of these will shape their opinions.
But there is one very specific scenario where we judge.
Whenever we want to do something new or whenever we set a new goal, we never take advice from people with no experience.
Actually, we actively avoid telling people about our new goal.
Running Rock Star Real Estate has put us in a position to see A LOT of people that come through our offices that will explain that someone in their life … a friend, a family member, a colleague … told them it’s not a good time to invest in real estate because of X, Y or Z.
Either the market is too hot.
Or it’s too cold.
Or you can’t qualify for ten properties so why even bother starting.
Or all the good properties are gone.
Or tenants are too difficult.
Or you have to pay tax on any profit.
Or it’s a full moon.
Or it’s Wednesday.
Whenever you begin down a new path in your life, contrary to popular believe, we found it’s much better to NOT tell a whole bunch of people about what you are doing.
This is contrary to popular belief.
Here’s why we think this…
When you begin down a new path in your life, your energy around the idea is still very fragile. The slightest, tinniest, little comment by anyone you like/trust/know has the potential to throw cold water all over it and squash it.
New goals are like seeds.
They need time to establish some roots and grow.
When we start something new we’re actually pretty private about it for some time. Nick started flipping properties when he was 21 years old. He didn’t publicly tell anyone about what he was doing for another seven years.
I knew, our parents knew, and I think one very close friend but that was it.
The biggest crusher of real estate investing goals that we see is when a new investor gets really poor advice from someone with no business giving the advice.
We’re not being naive here. Real Estate is tricky business. It’s the classic case of being rather “simple but not easy.” Some of these people likely have good intentions with their negative advice.
But to stop before you begin because of an off hand comment by a coworker or friend is depressing.
It’s amazing to us that more people don’t judge the person giving the advice before they accept it.
Here’s what we would advise…
The next time someone tell you something about ANYTHING…
… judge them.
And judge them rather harshly.
Ask yourself, are they qualified to give you that advice?
What experience do they have? What have they accomplished? What biases do they have?
We’re not just guessing about the value of doing this.
There’s science to back up this thinking.
Last week a few of us from Rock Star took a trip to L.A. to listen to a few neuroscientists explain the science of peak performance.
Robert Cooper, Ph.D., is a neuroscientist, has sold 4 million books, is working on his second Ph.D, and is a high-performance strategist. You can check out his full bio here, it’s impressive.
He works with the elite in business and athletics. Fortune 500 companies, Olympians, and World Record holders.
Definitely a smart guy who oozes experience.
We’re paraphrasing his talk, but here’s two points he shared:
- Goals need time to grow. Don’t announce them to the world. Keep them private, at least until you’ve created some momentum with them.
- Disapproval of anything you say or do creates more massive negative energy in you than pure anger.
Did you catch that?
Disapproval of literally anything you say or do, no matter how small, will tear you up inside.
This is very insightful and has lots of applications.
Have you ever had anyone on social media disagree with you?
How does it make you feel?
100% crazy right?
Same with us. We do a lot of advertising for our business so you can imagine some of the feedback we get.
A lot of it is positive.
In fact, the MAJORITY of it is positive.
But that one comment that comes in from some anonymous person slamming us without knowing anything about us still stirs up the emotions.
Today, it doesn’t bother us nearly as much as it used to because we unconsciously or automatically judge the person.
Yeah, we’re bad people, we judge.
And we judge a person who tears up our goals, without knowing us, to be not worthy.
Not worthy of our time and not worthy of our emotional energy.
So we move on.
We’re automatic judging machines at this point. (maybe we’re out of control? that’s a whole other problem, LOL)
Robert Cooper went on to mention that the most important resource we have isn’t time, it’s actually our attention.
And if we allow our attention to be distracted from our goals by negative feedback it almost guarantees their failure.
We’ve long believed a key skill in your life is being anal about what you pay attention to.
Dr. Cooper also explained that his team analyzed over 2000 goal setting studies and came up with interesting findings in the area of peak performance (we’re going to share those over the next little while with Rock Star Inner Circle Members).
One of his findings was that you must refocus on your goals multiple times a day for them to stand a chance.
And if you’re all emotional, in a state similar to anger, by having something you said or did dismissed by someone, then you’re not going to be in a state of mind to accomplish very much.
And if you walk around thinking about all the negative stuff all day there’s no room for the positive.
So here’s the deal…
The next time someone comments on something you put on Facebook, Twitter or whatever … judge them.
Are they worthy of your energy?
And perhaps even more importantly … it may be in your best interest to stay away from these types of environments as much as possible.
And the next time someone give you advice in person about what you’re about to set off accomplishing ask yourself if they’re worthy.
Do they qualify to give you that advice?
So go ahead, judge people, it’s scientifically proven to be good for you 😉
And if want to get all fancy and really advanced, after you judge them, perhaps just accept them and even love them for who they are. Then move on. Quickly.
Until next time … Your Life! Your Terms!